The gift that it was:

What I am to you decides

Who you'll be to me.

You said you are worthy of love n care,

and that's what you became to me,

A friend for life is what you are now

And not just another memory.

This all will end, these wonderful moments will. They will all drift away from me, fade away from my memories, and from my life. I’ll have newer set of friends, and I am sure I’ll never remember them ever again, I’ll be ‘that’ busy with my new life. After all, I make friends pretty quickly, I am that chubby and chirpy girl who is way more comfortable with strangers rather than the ones she already knows.

And then my last day there came. Though a bit too soon, I was happy. Happy because after 3 long years of wait, I was going to the place that always intimidated and seduced me. I was going to do what I (Read my father too) always wanted me to do. And it was gonna be a place which was very much in demand! A place where I had been selected out of 3 lakh Indians (there, finally I got to boast publically).

I wasn’t about to cry, no not that day.

But only that one girl, my best friend, was the one, I thought about. Will I ever see her again in life? Will she ever remember me, and the times we bitched about people together, the times she taught me to dance (you can just guess what kind of dance), and the times she taught me to put an eye liner on, also the day she taught me not to dread a treadmill, and what about the times we went to movie together, just us, because no one else was there to ask to. And not to forget the name I gave to her : Safed Chudki ( Fair Witch)

Then I’ll surely miss him, this sweet and caring, (and conscious, because I call him not sir, also not by his name, but bhaiya) brotherly dude! He will always be missed for whatever insights he gave me, because  whatever he told has come out to be true (maybe because he has a black tongue or something). He was the coolest and the smartest person I had ever met (He also maybe that one eyed man who is the king amongst the blinds.).

But I’ll miss no one else! Nobody else mattered that much! Everyone else was just someone else.

But then came the farewell hour. And I got that cute little gift that I am shameless to say, I still sleep with. No, not memories, they are there always. Whenever I look for a rescue when things are attacking me from all sides, they are there, yes. And so will be all those beautiful things they had to say to me, written down nicely in an Infosys notepad, tucked safely in my almirah to refer to whenever I may need.

But I was talking about that cute little almost replica of mine. The one with a brown muffler and a tilted brown hat. The one with a pot belly and a cute little defective, unaligned nose.

And then I realized that I can never forget them. They will always remain special for me. Theirs will be the memories that I’ll lean on in the times of heartbreaks. Theirs will be the words that I’ll recall in case of friendships gone sour. Their faith in me and happiness for me is what I’ll sleep with when I’ll fail. They will be remembered forever. Because they all are those cute aliens, who came and won me over.

A hope in the womb

( this again is a work of fiction, and my will to fight against this practice!)

I'll pray to see you happy

And I'll live to see you smiling,

I'll feed you with my hands

And I'll clap when you succeed,

I'll discuss the loves of your life

And I'll help you in fights,

I'll pray for your well being,

And I pray to see you soon.

I was scared, and hungry, and damn tired. I had been running all day long. I wished that I didn’t have to run anymore, but it was getting away. I could see it, just few steps more and then I’ll leap, and I’ll catch hold of its neck and get it home!

There was mist all around. I could see nothing around, except for that! I was running, on nothing. The mist befriended cold, and like a sweet temptress, it was trying to make me lose it. The cold was killing too, piercing the bones and reaching within, to add to my fear. There were people who were coaxing me to let go of it, but I couldn’t see them. This gave me little strength, their horrendous and angry faces would have made me let it go.

I shouted for help, but obviously there was no one around, and then suddenly I saw a lady, wailing and crying for help too. The thought that I wasn’t alone brought some light, and more mist. The wailing lady could be a friend of the mist and cold!

Faking braveness, I moved forward, maybe that wailing lady really needed help. But alas! It was despair, waiting to hound me and trick me into giving up. And the mist and cold clapped violently. The darkness smirked, and grew its claws, it attacked me. Then despair caught my hands and tied them around, to let the mist and cold surround me, and suffocate me to death.

Please, oh please let me give up. It’s no use fighting anymore. Darkness, despair, mist and cold. They won’t let me get to it, they are dragging me away from it, and it is farther now from before.

It was hope, a hope to save my baby that I was trying to catch. It was a hope to save the life within me that may, sometime in future, become a beautiful, self made, and a successful woman. It was a hope that saving this life, may in future, bring prosperity to many more such lives.

But all was gone. That hope went away, with tear in its eyes. And with that hope went away a daughter, a friend, someone’s wife, and a mother. With my hope, went away many such lives and smiles. And what settled in were darkness, despair, mist and cold. And together they gave birth to depression, hatred and anger. None of which were ever blessed and welcomed by the world, but were always given to the likes of us to bear.