The Reality ate into Dreams.

The days went past in a crazy frenzy,
and yet they were the longest in ever.
The heart while shone in eternal happiness,
the mind was left alone to wander.
The wandering mind looked for console,
But there was only some to find.
The restless mind turned into a savage,
And gulped down what shone through the heart.
The mind now a filled beast
has left the heart crying forever.
The heart has nowhere to go, 
But who cares, its only the heart.
It will find its toys and play with them
all the while wondering if the shine would return.
The heart while would live on eternal hope,
The mind would find ways to sleep.
And so shall remain a soul sad forever
Cos he has neither the full heart nor an active mind to keep. 

Because Fiction is a fragment from Reality

Once upon a time

Alice left me in the wonderland

I shall never forget

Dreams can come true

There is no way that

Fairy tales are deceiving and disappointing

I am sure that Reality

Is only a hiding place from Fantasy

I remember the days when I was giving interviews and GD's for admission into an MBA college. And then there was this question, almost always "What are your hobbies?". And invariably, I use to answer "Reading Fiction and writing."

And the counter question, almost always was, what kind of fiction. That's where my eyes use to look away and name great authors like Sydney Sheldon, Classics like Gone with the wind, some exotics like The Princess of Sultana etc. But never, never J.K.Rowling, or her book series of the famous Harry Potter!

It was after I got selected into a B-School, during the ragging days, that this question was once more raised by a lady senior. And as always I named every novel except my beloved.

That senior was a rude one, she was ragging me in the true sense (she belonged to the infamous placecom!). I was taken aback when unimpressed with my long and impressive list of reads, she asked me "You read ficiton and you haven't ever read Harry Potter?"

I fumbled, answered in a low voice "Ye.. Yes Mam I have". She asked in a rough voice "Too ashamed to name that eh?"

Me: "No Mam, just that it is a sort of fairy tale, not to be counted among the list of impressive reads."

She scoffed at my answer, and then, there, in front of almost 100 students shouted "This college deserves people who even if watch porn, declare it proudly. And here we have got a sweetheart who read a book, and is ashamed to announce it!" Then she said to me "Madam, if you know, Harry potter is among 10 most sold books in the world, probably next to Bible. J.K. Rowling is the only author who is a millionaire cos of her writing. Even if it is a Fairy Tale, I'd respect it for the Ways of Life it taught me!"

It was when she was gone, after I overcame the shock of humiliation, in the dark that I realized her words were true!

And true not just for Harry Potter, but for every kind of Fairy Tale that exists. Remember how Dumbledore repeatedly emphasized on the power of love, and now I realized that "The Love" that protected Harry from evil Voldemort is similar to the protection that our parents give us from the world, the power of their love. Remember how Harry and Neville Lonbottom had similar fates, but Harry was chosen because of his actions? Isn't it very similar to the saying "One's Destiny is made from his choices and not from his chances."?

Do you not realize how Rapunzel met his Prince Charming because she dared to follow her dreams. How Cinderella always got help when she needed it the most, which is similar to the saying "God helps those who need it the most."!

Oh how the strength of Scarlet'O Hara gives strength to me as a lady, that when she can fight yankees, run a business, manage 3 children and still be beautiful, then why can't I?

Just saying that one should never discard fairy tales as just stupid gibberish tales. There are always great learning in them, which when imbibed into a child give him strength of character and honesty. Not to forget what a great method they are to imbibe reading habit into children.

Atleast I am thankful to my Mom for reading them to me. :)

Hold on your breath oh Universe! Change ahead...

I just got an email from a site, which allows you to write emails to the future you.

In that, I had written a lot of things that I was insecure about 2 years back, when it was my first day in the college. And I was surprised because all of those insecurities have come true. I am wondering if this is an extreme case of intuition gone right, or a case of presumptions beliefs and insecurities that you surround yourself creating a cloud of doubt and suspicion inside you to ruin you to the core, to the extent that your efforts seem dented and half-hearted.

In a book called Harry potter, I remember reading “Harry, never forget that what the prophecy said was only significant because Lord Voldemort made it so.” I can relate to it so much right now. It’s as if I had prophesized for myself, that these adversities will happen, and it’s as if I started acting on that same belief (that they will happen), and that belief ate up all my efforts, restricted my imagination of how not to let the Prophecy come true.

Similar to this, and from a totally unrelated sector, somebody recently told me how whatever you declare to the universe, comes true because universe conspires to make it happen. It’s as if I declared that I would fail, in relationships, in friendship, career-wise, and that insecurity made it happen.

I don’t know if you are able to relate to what I am saying, but I’ll end up on something that you might understand.

Take my advice, and don’t restrict yourself to the boundaries that a certain fear, an inferiority complex creates around you. Declare to the universe what you want, and if not the universe strives to make it happen, that declaration will atleast help you make it happen, to put in whole hearted efforts into that declaration. Pessimism has worked fine for me in the past; I always took the worst case scenario and strived to convert into the best case. But Pessimism could only bring me this far, now it has turned back onto me to leave me with “I am being victimized” attitude. Now it’s time for optimism, hope, passion and determination. I am not telling you to go into the war without a fall-back option, but I think fall-back options only keep you from making full efforts.

How I now wish I hadn’t thought of these adversities, then I wouldn’t have feared them, and I would have lived as a free bird, striving, taking each day as it comes. But I guess it’s never late to start with good habits…

In search for the lost something...

I'll find my strength, don't worry I'll pick myself up.

I was walking alone, so I fell and lost control, and that's just it.

I believe I had been stupid to think a mere stick of faith will take me through woods.

But don't worry about me, I shall be okay. I can walk well even after falling.

Though please look for my dream, I dropped it somewhere in the woods.

I believe it must be broken now, I toppled over it I think.

Although I don't have the strength to pick pieces of it bit by bit.

And I even don't know if I'll be happy without it by my side, in the night.

But I know I have to keep walking for the sake of it, 

And hopefully someday I'll see it again someday by my side.

It has been a season of failures, rejections and even heartbreaks for me. And you know you deserved it when the people who mentor you start pointing out mistakes and lacquinas in everything you do. You don't even get to blame the luck because hell, you know you went wrong at so many places when people warned you not to.

And this is not it! Turn to anyone for help in such dreadful season and you realize that there are not many who'll put up with your insecurities, or even put some consolation in your way. Not to mention the pricks who'll enjoy in your sufferings, probably even gloat of their achievements while all you are left to do is lick your wounds. Not even questioning the humane side of those who ruthefully declare you a failure, a loser, more hurting is the responses of those who have been there and done that, but they refuse to help blatantly enough, further rubbing the failure in your face. 

And that's where the life gets tougher, the plans go down the drain, and while everybody else is looking forward to moving on, you start to dread the farewell day, and wonder what should be the rescue plan.

Or should there be any rescue plan? Is it absolutely necessary for life to go on as you had planned? Is success elusive if I take a road that I never planned to? Do the dreams of success drift away with just a waft of failure?

I wonder what if I didn't have that dream in the first place, or if I had told it to not be so stubborn, and keep room for failures and setbacks with it. I wonder if I will be left to chase that stubborn dream forever now? Or if I will be able to catch up to it. Or if I will catch it, then I'll feel it, discard it and start chasing another one.

Just wondering how and when this turbulence is supposed to end, I have been working for it to end since very long. I hope that even if life can't give me my dream, my success, then atleast it shows the decency to give me strength and patience to work towards it.