The infinite void.

I have fought hard.
I have fought the odds.
Each time, yet and again.
Hoping to see some relief in the end
Hoping to see something better in return.

And there are brief period of happiness too.
In between somewhere.
But that happiness is always incomplete.
Always hinged on things I am fighting for.
I am afraid to be happy in fear of unhappiness it will bring next.

How long can you fight for?
Which battles to pick?
What matters the most?
Why do I have to be so brave?
Why can't I just give up?

Well now I have.
I am not going to fight myself anymore
If I can find love and better pay the way I am, fine, else I wont fight for it now.
I am done with all this fight to get better.
Battling with myself since years, and nowhere close to loving myself.

I just hope he knows I tried my best to touch the benchmark he set, I just couldn't. I can't.