Saturday, 20 July 2013

The Reality ate into Dreams.


The days went past in a crazy frenzy,
and yet they were the longest in ever.
The heart while shone in eternal happiness,
the mind was left alone to wander.
The wandering mind looked for console,
But there was only some to find.
The restless mind turned into a savage,
And gulped down what shone through the heart.
The mind now a filled beast
has left the heart crying forever.
The heart has nowhere to go, 
But who cares, its only the heart.
It will find its toys and play with them
all the while wondering if the shine would return.
The heart while would live on eternal hope,
The mind would find ways to sleep.
And so shall remain a soul sad forever
Cos he has neither the full heart nor an active mind to keep. 

Friday, 31 May 2013

Because Fiction is a fragment from Reality



Once upon a time
Alice left me in the wonderland
I shall never forget
Dreams can come true
There is no way that
Fairy tales are deceiving and disappointing
I am sure that Reality
Is only a hiding place from Fantasy






I remember the days when I was giving interviews and GD's for admission into an MBA college. And then there was this question, almost always "What are your hobbies?". And invariably, I use to answer "Reading Fiction and writing."



And the counter question, almost always was, what kind of fiction. That's where my eyes use to look away and name great authors like Sydney Sheldon, Classics like Gone with the wind, some exotics like The Princess of Sultana etc. But never, never J.K.Rowling, or her book series of the famous Harry Potter!



It was after I got selected into a B-School, during the ragging days, that this question was once more raised by a lady senior. And as always I named every novel except my beloved.

That senior was a rude one, she was ragging me in the true sense (she belonged to the infamous placecom!). I was taken aback when unimpressed with my long and impressive list of reads, she asked me "You read ficiton and you haven't ever read Harry Potter?"


I fumbled, answered in a low voice "Ye.. Yes Mam I have". She asked in a rough voice "Too ashamed to name that eh?"

Me: "No Mam, just that it is a sort of fairy tale, not to be counted among the list of impressive reads."


She scoffed at my answer, and then, there, in front of almost 100 students shouted "This college deserves people who even if watch porn, declare it proudly. And here we have got a sweetheart who read a book, and is ashamed to announce it!" Then she said to me "Madam, if you know, Harry potter is among 10 most sold books in the world, probably next to Bible. J.K. Rowling is the only author who is a millionaire cos of her writing. Even if it is a Fairy Tale, I'd respect it for the Ways of Life it taught me!"



It was when she was gone, after I overcame the shock of humiliation, in the dark that I realized her words were true!



And true not just for Harry Potter, but for every kind of Fairy Tale that exists. Remember how Dumbledore repeatedly emphasized on the power of love, and now I realized that "The Love" that protected Harry from evil Voldemort is similar to the protection that our parents give us from the world, the power of their love. Remember how Harry and Neville Lonbottom had similar fates, but Harry was chosen because of his actions? Isn't it very similar to the saying "One's Destiny is made from his choices and not from his chances."?



Do you not realize how Rapunzel met his Prince Charming because she dared to follow her dreams. How Cinderella always got help when she needed it the most, which is similar to the saying "God helps those who need it the most."!



Oh how the strength of Scarlet'O Hara gives strength to me as a lady, that when she can fight yankees, run a business, manage 3 children and still be beautiful, then why can't I?



Just saying that one should never discard fairy tales as just stupid gibberish tales. There are always great learning in them, which when imbibed into a child give him strength of character and honesty. Not to forget what a great method they are to imbibe reading habit into children.

Atleast I am thankful to my Mom for reading them to me. :)

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Hold on your breath oh Universe! Change ahead...


I just got an email from a site, which allows you to write emails to the future you.

In that, I had written a lot of things that I was insecure about 2 years back, when it was my first day in the college. And I was surprised because all of those insecurities have come true. I am wondering if this is an extreme case of intuition gone right, or a case of presumptions beliefs and insecurities that you surround yourself creating a cloud of doubt and suspicion inside you to ruin you to the core, to the extent that your efforts seem dented and half-hearted.

In a book called Harry potter, I remember reading “Harry, never forget that what the prophecy said was only significant because Lord Voldemort made it so.” I can relate to it so much right now. It’s as if I had prophesized for myself, that these adversities will happen, and it’s as if I started acting on that same belief (that they will happen), and that belief ate up all my efforts, restricted my imagination of how not to let the Prophecy come true.

Similar to this, and from a totally unrelated sector, somebody recently told me how whatever you declare to the universe, comes true because universe conspires to make it happen. It’s as if I declared that I would fail, in relationships, in friendship, career-wise, and that insecurity made it happen.

I don’t know if you are able to relate to what I am saying, but I’ll end up on something that you might understand.
Take my advice, and don’t restrict yourself to the boundaries that a certain fear, an inferiority complex creates around you. Declare to the universe what you want, and if not the universe strives to make it happen, that declaration will atleast help you make it happen, to put in whole hearted efforts into that declaration. Pessimism has worked fine for me in the past; I always took the worst case scenario and strived to convert into the best case. But Pessimism could only bring me this far, now it has turned back onto me to leave me with “I am being victimized” attitude. Now it’s time for optimism, hope, passion and determination. I am not telling you to go into the war without a fall-back option, but I think fall-back options only keep you from making full efforts.

How I now wish I hadn’t thought of these adversities, then I wouldn’t have feared them, and I would have lived as a free bird, striving, taking each day as it comes. But I guess it’s never late to start with good habits…


Thursday, 14 February 2013

In search for the lost something...

I'll find my strength, don't worry I'll pick myself up.
I was walking alone, so I fell and lost control, and that's just it.
I believe I had been stupid to think a mere stick of faith will take me through woods.
But don't worry about me, I shall be okay. I can walk well even after falling.
Though please look for my dream, I dropped it somewhere in the woods.
I believe it must be broken now, I toppled over it I think.
Although I don't have the strength to pick pieces of it bit by bit.
And I even don't know if I'll be happy without it by my side, in the night.
But I know I have to keep walking for the sake of it, 
And hopefully someday I'll see it again someday by my side.

It has been a season of failures, rejections and even heartbreaks for me. And you know you deserved it when the people who mentor you start pointing out mistakes and lacquinas in everything you do. You don't even get to blame the luck because hell, you know you went wrong at so many places when people warned you not to.


And this is not it! Turn to anyone for help in such dreadful season and you realize that there are not many who'll put up with your insecurities, or even put some consolation in your way. Not to mention the pricks who'll enjoy in your sufferings, probably even gloat of their achievements while all you are left to do is lick your wounds. Not even questioning the humane side of those who ruthefully declare you a failure, a loser, more hurting is the responses of those who have been there and done that, but they refuse to help blatantly enough, further rubbing the failure in your face. 

And that's where the life gets tougher, the plans go down the drain, and while everybody else is looking forward to moving on, you start to dread the farewell day, and wonder what should be the rescue plan.

Or should there be any rescue plan? Is it absolutely necessary for life to go on as you had planned? Is success elusive if I take a road that I never planned to? Do the dreams of success drift away with just a waft of failure?


I wonder what if I didn't have that dream in the first place, or if I had told it to not be so stubborn, and keep room for failures and setbacks with it. I wonder if I will be left to chase that stubborn dream forever now? Or if I will be able to catch up to it. Or if I will catch it, then I'll feel it, discard it and start chasing another one.



Just wondering how and when this turbulence is supposed to end, I have been working for it to end since very long. I hope that even if life can't give me my dream, my success, then atleast it shows the decency to give me strength and patience to work towards it.


Saturday, 27 October 2012

What’s love but a second hand emotion.



Oh, What's love got to do, got to do with it 
What's love but a second hand emotion 
What's love got to do, got to do with it 
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken 







I have never been able to understand the intention of Tina Turner behind singing this song. Why in the world did she call love a second hand emotion when it is nowhere to being second in our minds?

Is it Second hand emotion in the sense that it can be used for everybody et al. As in, people do use the word “love” when they want to show their affection to their parents, to their siblings, friends and ofcourse the girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses and husbands/wives. So it’s a word that appropriately fits in whenever you want to show good kind of emotions to any kind of person.

Or is it a second hand emotion because well… you do “ishq wala love” with multiple people before finally settling onto that particular one, if you settle at all that is. To describe in a way that man is polygamous by nature. So there’s first hand love, the second hand love… and infinitely carrying on the same progression till the last one. So we have the word “love”= second hand emotion.

Or is it a second hand emotion, because love is something that can be used and reused, for what, as an excuse? An excuse for physical intimacy, an excuse for sexual cravings, an excuse for the weird, lost state of mind, an excuse for cat fights and dog fights, an excuse to avoid everybody questioning your sanity, or the absence of it otherwise.
Has the use of word “love” been overdone to describe all existent teenage problems, the reason for people failing in making a career. Has it been exploited too much to give a reason for sad days, depressed nights and stupid suicides? And what when this same word is used to describe the reason behind acid attacks, rapes and infidelity, is it still not misused?

So probably love IS stupid afterall, and probably more so because of all the peer pressure and focus put onto it. So there's this whole Bollywood industry running just because this word exists, and twitter feeding millions and millions of tweets because love exists, or does not. And well, isn't it the reason for this STUPID blog as well?
But again, I ask the question. For all of the above mentioned
Oh, what's love got to do with it
What's love but a second hand emotion




Thursday, 30 August 2012

The Dumb A(ss)xe effect


So, a boy, just out of shower, his towel still around him, sprays tonnes of Axe deo on himself, and waits for women from around the world to run/fly/ ride or just drop from the sky and hit on him!!!

I say what an advertisement sirjee…. Because you think that women all over the world are more dumb than that guy in the advertisement, dumb enough to pull their pant(ie)s down just because that guy smells “oh so aw(ful)some!” and probably doesn’t bathe daily.

And this is how, Sir, you have succeeded in demeaning women publicly…

The anger is not with that looser of a guy in the add, it’s neither with the maker of that add, neither with boys who spray axe in the hope that girl might actually drop from the sky for him. The anger is with the thought that people worldwide have accepted that add, and that they find nothing annoying with it.
On the other hand, I wonder if the makers of the add have succeeded in cashing on the mentality of the society.…

I remember a friend mentioning how he wanted a girl with “all hearts and no brains”, and yet another one mentioning how a girl “with brains” is the family wrecker than a maker. So they’d rather have a girl who can easily be seduced by their charms and chatter, or even big moustaches rather than by IQ, EQ , killer guts and instincts and etc etc. (I seem to have defined what entices me!!).

I am surprised how the above mentioned add or the incidences clearly are the echo of the trend in our society, that how women are (or are supposed to be) the “Brainless” objects, typically to sit at home, wait to cook the menu that their husbands order for, then clean up after he eats, later make his bed and then sleep with him. Only if it ended here, she then goes on to bear his children, who will bring fame to HIS name, feed them, nourish them, only so that when they grow up, to be asked “aap beech mei mat bolo, aap ko kuch pata bhi hai?”

Its almost indecent (I consider it demeaning too ) how traditionally women are considered to be just the objects of beauty, to be showcased by the armchair of the king, or the head of the family. How they are supposed to accept the husbands their marriages have been arranged with, and oh of course “Your man is your God” type preaching. It’s strange that they are taught not to speak in a male dominated discussion, and to take a pallu, and to cover themselves in every way possible. Not to mention that they still get raped (even after they are covered from toe to head), and then are solely responsible for their own rape.

Why yes, the men are never at fault. Afterall, their gender gives them full right on every woman that they can man-handle, any woman they can rape. Women are, like wealth, their properties, theirs to keep, theirs to protect, theirs to sell and theirs to use.  Women must not, rather they don’t have any say on the matter of who must touch their bodies, who must live with them for their lives, who must they love and who must they fuck.

People might argue the situations are changing for good now. I totally agree, now many (Not all, mind you) men, instead of forcing themselves on us, will try to entice us with stupid attributes like chocolaty smells, because even now, women might be willing to overlook their dumbness, idiocity and brainlessness, just because they smell good.

(I assume that woman makes love only to those she loves, and not to anybody and everybody who comes their way.)


Thursday, 9 August 2012

I changed when….


Once upon a time I was a girl, a charming one people say. I changed into a teenager when the air of love flew in. Sweet smelling and strong, it helped me built the castles of dream on it. But those castles were built in the air, they broke.

I changed into a conscious and careful girl when they broke.
The conscious teenager entered into the big bad world outside school, and the air was now that of politics, mistrust and danger. Worries for future and expectations from parents infiltrated it. Along with it I could smell the play of power and the filthy game that it leads to. I was an aware but an insecure just out of my teens girl. I was now rebellious, desperate to make it out of this filth and into a prosperous world. With love-life put on hold, friends gone astray and college coming to an end, the air had become difficult to breathe in.

I changed when God gave me another chance, I changed into an optimistic girl.
 I now smiled, and made friends again. I had now come to trusting people again, sharing feelings was considered to be okay again. An acceptance had come to me that everything that happens is always for the “greater” good.

But change had to come again, I changed when I made a choice to leave that position of comfort.
I changed into a business woman when I traded that world of friends for a world of stretched limits, clever businessmen and new opportunities. People say it is a world where, you study the world and you study the self. You accept the weirdest, and question the simplest. I changed myself enough to fit into that world.

I am changing now, again. I am learning to do things for myself rather than to keep others happy. This learning has brought back the long lost sense of security, a sense of pride in self.
This change is the first of its types, which I have welcomed.
It has brought the belief that life was never meant to be fair, but that's why it is beautiful. I have realized that people will leave you heartbroken, not because they are ruthless, but because they never understood what you expected out of them.
Oh what a relief it was to realize that Its okay to cry for the ones gone. Its easy to move on when done so without resentments.
Resentment is good too, only till it doesn’t break you down into pieces. Its okay to be selfish, it’s okay to be weird, and want things that others never dreamt of.
Its okay to let go of the rotten past. I realized, in the 6 years that I have feared my future, the past never mirrored the future, my life has never shown me days I have always been worried of. And my failures of the past have not crept into the present yet.  
I guess there have to be new beginnings every time season changes, there are new friends every time old ones are lost, the heart always finds new loves to toy around when the ex’s break your heart, there are new bosses waiting to dictate new terms when the old one throws you out.
He always has the Plan B for us if one doesn’t work out, or maybe it’s the way we are, that we figure out new ways to make everything right.
I am just looking to making everything "right" now, and writing this has just put everything into perspective.
And hence leave you with this wonderful song.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4VEAh1-kpU