Once upon a time I was a girl, a
charming one people say. I changed into a teenager when the air of love flew
in. Sweet smelling and strong, it helped me built the castles of dream on it. But
those castles were built in the air, they broke.
I changed into a conscious and
careful girl when they broke.
The conscious teenager entered
into the big bad world outside school, and the air was now that of politics,
mistrust and danger. Worries for future and expectations from parents
infiltrated it. Along with it I could smell the play of power and the filthy
game that it leads to. I was an aware but an insecure just out of my teens girl. I was now
rebellious, desperate to make it out of this filth and into a prosperous world.
With love-life put on hold, friends gone astray and college coming to an end,
the air had become difficult to breathe in.
I changed when God gave me
another chance, I changed into an optimistic girl.
I now smiled, and made friends again. I had
now come to trusting people again, sharing feelings was considered to be okay
again. An acceptance had come to me that everything that happens is always for
the “greater” good.
But change had to come again, I
changed when I made a choice to leave that position of comfort.
I changed into a business woman
when I traded that world of friends for a world of stretched limits, clever
businessmen and new opportunities. People say it is a world where, you study
the world and you study the self. You accept the weirdest, and question the
simplest. I changed myself enough to fit into that world.
I am changing now, again. I am
learning to do things for myself rather than to keep others happy. This
learning has brought back the long lost sense of security, a sense of pride in
self.
This change is the first of its types,
which I have welcomed.
It has brought the belief that life
was never meant to be fair, but that's why it is beautiful. I have realized that people will leave you heartbroken, not
because they are ruthless, but because they never understood what you expected
out of them.
Oh what a relief it was to
realize that Its okay to cry for the ones gone. Its easy to move on when done so without resentments.
Resentment is good too, only till
it doesn’t break you down into pieces. Its okay to be selfish, it’s okay to be
weird, and want things that others never dreamt of.
Its okay to let go of the rotten
past. I realized, in the 6 years that I have feared my future, the past never mirrored the future, my life has never shown me days I have
always been worried of. And my failures of the past have not crept into the
present yet.
I guess there have to be new
beginnings every time season changes, there are new friends every time old ones
are lost, the heart always finds new loves to toy around when the ex’s break
your heart, there are new bosses waiting to dictate new terms when the old one
throws you out.
He always has the Plan B for us
if one doesn’t work out, or maybe it’s the way we are, that we figure out new
ways to make everything right.
I am just looking to making everything "right" now, and writing this has just put everything into
perspective.
And hence leave you with this wonderful song.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4VEAh1-kpU
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