In search for the lost something...

I'll find my strength, don't worry I'll pick myself up.

I was walking alone, so I fell and lost control, and that's just it.

I believe I had been stupid to think a mere stick of faith will take me through woods.

But don't worry about me, I shall be okay. I can walk well even after falling.

Though please look for my dream, I dropped it somewhere in the woods.

I believe it must be broken now, I toppled over it I think.

Although I don't have the strength to pick pieces of it bit by bit.

And I even don't know if I'll be happy without it by my side, in the night.

But I know I have to keep walking for the sake of it, 

And hopefully someday I'll see it again someday by my side.

It has been a season of failures, rejections and even heartbreaks for me. And you know you deserved it when the people who mentor you start pointing out mistakes and lacquinas in everything you do. You don't even get to blame the luck because hell, you know you went wrong at so many places when people warned you not to.

And this is not it! Turn to anyone for help in such dreadful season and you realize that there are not many who'll put up with your insecurities, or even put some consolation in your way. Not to mention the pricks who'll enjoy in your sufferings, probably even gloat of their achievements while all you are left to do is lick your wounds. Not even questioning the humane side of those who ruthefully declare you a failure, a loser, more hurting is the responses of those who have been there and done that, but they refuse to help blatantly enough, further rubbing the failure in your face. 

And that's where the life gets tougher, the plans go down the drain, and while everybody else is looking forward to moving on, you start to dread the farewell day, and wonder what should be the rescue plan.

Or should there be any rescue plan? Is it absolutely necessary for life to go on as you had planned? Is success elusive if I take a road that I never planned to? Do the dreams of success drift away with just a waft of failure?

I wonder what if I didn't have that dream in the first place, or if I had told it to not be so stubborn, and keep room for failures and setbacks with it. I wonder if I will be left to chase that stubborn dream forever now? Or if I will be able to catch up to it. Or if I will catch it, then I'll feel it, discard it and start chasing another one.

Just wondering how and when this turbulence is supposed to end, I have been working for it to end since very long. I hope that even if life can't give me my dream, my success, then atleast it shows the decency to give me strength and patience to work towards it.